I'm Not a Slacker, Honest!

So... it's been a while since I made a blog post. Today, I'll be making two (or three.)
Since my last post, I've done two more sermons, and have another in the queue. The writing process is really starting to come together for me, and I really have to thank the Lord for that.
My studies continue apace. I've effectively entered into an apprenticeship with Jeff. As much as I want to go to seminary, I'm just not sure how I can make that work, financially. I've been bouncing some ideas, including crowd sourcing, but unless I can get all of the money from non-loan sources, I can't make more school happen. I hear horror stories about people entering high-paying professions who can't pay off their student loans. "Pastor" is not a high-paying profession.
Jeff and I had a long talk about the various roads to ordination. Seminary would be optimal, but is very likely cost prohibitive at this time. Local licensing would be an option, except that there have been some changes in the process, and now, one can go all the way through the process, and end up with no posting.
I had considered getting an online ordination through the Universal Life Church. My pastor friends were universally against the idea - going so far as to call it a slap in the face for anyone who spent 4 years in seminary.
Then my medievalist leanings gave me an idea. I could apprentice myself to a Pastor (in this case, Jeff), and, when he felt that I was ready, then I could get my online ordination. I'm not giving up on seminary, but a fallback plan is always a good idea.
So, I am an apprentice pastor. When the time comes, I'll be happy to have long talks (oral exams) with the other pastors in my life in the hopes of assuring them that I'm ready.

Anyway, here's the text from  last Sunday's sermon.

SCRAPE IT OFF!

Matthew 18:23-35

Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the reckoning, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents; and as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, “Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.” And out of pity for him the lord of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But that same servant, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat he said, “Pay what you owe.” So his fellow servant fell down and besought him, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you.” He refused and went and put him in prison till he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. The his lord summoned him and said to him, “you wicked servant!” I forgave you your debt because you besought me; and should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you?” And in anger, his lord delivered him to the jailers, till he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.

Genesis 50:15-21

When Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “It may be that Joseph will hate us and pay us back for all the evil which we did to him.” So they sent him a message, saying, “Your father gave this command before he died, 'Say to Joseph, Forgive, I pray you, the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you.' And now, we pray you, forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.” Joseph wept when they spoke to him. His brothers also came and fell down before him, and said, “Behold, we are your servants.” But Joseph said to them, “Fear not, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, to bring about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.” Thus he reassured and comforted them.

Forgive... It's a big word. The Greek word is aphiemi (af ee' ay mee), and, as with pretty much all Greek words, it has a pile of meanings - forgive, forsake, lay aside, leave, let (alone, be, go), omit, put (or send) away, remit, suffer, yield up, dot dot dot... you get the point. What it doesn't mean is “hold on to”. That's what we're going dive into today.

I read a story about a college student who had his very expensive commuter bicycle stolen. He came out from class, and it was just gone, although his lock and cable (which had obviously been cut with bolt cutters) were still there. He called the police, and made a report, and within a couple of days, the thief had been caught and the bicycle recovered. When the student went to retrieve his bicycle, there was a note with it. It said, “Please forgive me for stealing your bicycle. I'm a drug addict, and my need for the drugs was so great that I couldn't help myself. Now that I've been arrested, I hope I can get the help I need, and get clean. I'm really glad that you're going to get your bike back. It's a really nice one. You should buy a bar lock for it, though. Cables are too easy to cut.”

The student said that of course, he forgave the thief. The thief's contrition was so obvious to him that, as a Christian, he didn't really have a choice.

Now, in the long run, the theft was a short-term inconvenience. He got the bike back, so why not go ahead and forgive. But this is just the type of thing that we hold on to. It's easier to say, “So what if he's sorry? He stole my only means of transportation... to try to sell for drugs.” But that's not what we're supposed to do.

Okay... maybe you're all thinking that a stolen bike isn't something to get worked up over. Let's look at something a bit more serious.

Not long ago, I watched a news report that was a follow-up on a shooting that had happened a year before. An innocent woman had been shot in the cross fire between two men, and, of course, she was permanently paralyzed by the injury. The article was about the huge change in her life since the shooting. The thing that struck me most was her statement: "I haven’t forgiven them yet, but I know I have to, because if I don’t God won’t forgive me."

Wait... what?

I could see the emotional and physical distress that she was in, even a year later. I could see the life that she had lost, and I wanted to say, "No, God loves you for who you are. You've been greatly damaged. You don't have to forgive those guys!"

But she knew the truth.

Unless we forgive those who haves harmed us, who have sinned against us, God will not, can not forgive us.

So, let's have a look at that truth.

In the old testament, God forgives mankind, over and over again. He keeps making covenant with us, and offering us... well, everything, and even though we keep turning our backs on Him and breaking covenant, and acting out like willful children, He still forgives us. He just does it, even though we never apologize.

But once Jesus is on the scene, forgiving others really becomes a hot topic, and the rules change a little – or at least, they're more clearly spelled out.

We must forgive to be forgiven.

Jesus says it in a number of places:

He flat out states it in Matthew 6, verse 15:

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

He restates it, using different words, in Matthew 7, verse 2:
For with the judgement you pronounce, you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.

Then, in today's first scripture reading, He illustrates it with one of His spot-on parables, and then restates it again: So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.

It was important enough that the apostles continued to teach it.
Paul says it in Colossians 3:13:
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

And James says it in James 2:13:
because judgement without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgement!

It's all through the New Testament – If we do not forgive those who harm us, God will not forgive us!

So... what is forgiveness?
Some people who have trouble with forgiveness think that forgiveness doesn't take the harm of sin seriously. But, really... forgiveness takes it very seriously. Forgiveness doesn't excuse sin, it doesn't say "Oh! That’s alright, your sin really wasn’t a bother, my stay in the hospital wasn’t that long, and I was able to catch up on my reading!" No... forgiveness calls sin, “sin”, and in many ways it holds the sinner accountable for their actions. Forgiveness says, "You hurt me, and what you did was wrong, but I won't hold it against you, I won't try to get back at you and I won't hate you for it."

The act of Forgiveness also initiates the process of Forgiveness.

(I know... that doesn't sound like it makes sense, but bear with me.)

You've most likely heard someone say, or maybe you've said yourself, "I'll forgive them when they come and say they're sorry." Well, I'll tell you what... That's not God’s way! God says "I forgive you, all you need to do to accept it is confess and repent." If we wait for a confession to forgive, more often than not, we'll be waiting a long time.

In his book "What’s so Amazing About Grace," Philip Yancey tells a story about a man and wife who one night had an argument about how supper was cooked. It was so heated, that that night they slept in separate rooms. Neither has ever approached the other to say, “I’m sorry,” or to offer forgiveness, and they have remained in separate rooms for years after the argument. Each night they go to bed hoping that the other will approach them with an apology or forgiveness, but neither one is willing to be the one who does it. God’s forgiveness doesn't wait for repentance – it initiates and draws out repentance by offering forgiveness.

Why is it that some people find forgiving so difficult?

Sometimes, they hate confrontation and don’t want to call someone out about their sin, so instead they stew in their unforgiveness, secretly hating that they don't want to do the hard work of forgiving.
Other times the seriousness of forgiveness exposes the pettiness of their grudges.

Recently, I was talking with a friend and I was trying to decide whether or not to get a hair cut, or let it grow back out. After letting me yammer on for awhile, he finally said "Well, Rick, why don't you pray about it" He was joking, of course, but it was his way of saying that if it doesn’t warrant prayer, then it really isn’t that important of a decision, is it? Some wrongs against us aren’t serious enough to warrant forgiveness. Some behavior needs to just be excused rather than forgiven. Accidents, mistakes, minor lapses in judgement, misunderstandings... these kind of things seldom need forgiveness – usually we just need to acknowledge that it's not that big a deal, and move on.

There are two elderly sisters who were in a car accident 20 years ago. Each blamed the other for the accident. The one driving said her sister was distracting her, and the sister said she was driving badly. Both of them should have said "these things happen" and got on with life, but instead of excusing each other, they haven't spoken in 20 years!

You might say to me, "but isn’t God’s grace and forgiveness free? Aren’t you asking us to earn our salvation by forgiving those who harm us?”
The answer is, “Yes, God’s grace is free, but it's not cheap. When God’s grace comes into our lives, it doesn't leave us as we were... it changes us. And one of the first changes that it make is to give us the power to forgive. By forgiving others we're proving that we have accepted God’s forgiveness, and are living in it! If we refuse to forgive those who harm us, what we're showing is that we haven't really accepted God’s grace, and like everything else God does, if you don't accept it, He can't actually give it to you.

The other truth that the young woman from my earlier story knew was that forgiveness is hard. She was an athletic, vibrant young woman before the bullet paralyzed her and changed her life forever. How could she forgive that? And yet, even though she knew she had to, she was honest enough to admit that it was going to be a chore of work to do so.

It's not easy to give up our right to be hurt, to be angry, to get back, to hate the other for what they've done. You may have had terrible things done to you by someone you loved and trusted, and they hurt you and broke your trust. You may have lost a great deal because of someone’s actions.

Okay... let's try a little mental exercise. Now, when you hold onto those hurts that others commit against you, it creates one of those strongholds that Jeff is always talking about – one of those places that let's evil get a toe-hold on your soul.

However, for the purposes of this exercise, I want you to think of it more as a big, ugly tick that's latched onto your soul. It just sits there, day after day, and maybe year after year, draining your spirituality. It's that thing – that thing that you can't, or won't get rid of, even though you know it's hurting your relationship with the Lord.

What I want you to do is close your eyes and envision that thing. We all have one – at least one. Someone, somewhere did you a wrong, and you just haven't been able to get rid of it – you haven't been able to bring yourself to forgive them... so there it sits... sucking away. Maybe it's not a tick... maybe it's more like a barnacle, just sitting there, ruining the smooth, pure lines of your soul. It doesn't matter what it looks like in your imagination, as long as you can visualize it. Once you have the thing in your mind – once you know which wrong you're holding on to – raise your hand. Don't open your eyes yet. Just raise your hand. Mine's already up. My soul-draining tick was easy to recognize.

There are some of you that don't have your hand up. Are you deluding yourself, or are you really good at forgiveness? If you don't have any wrongs unforgiven, super! You're a much better person than I am. But if you just don't want to admit that you're holding onto that thing, you're not doing yourself any favors.

Okay, everyone can put their hands down.

Now... we've all got that thing firmly in our mind's eye. It's sitting there, stuck to your soul, it's ugly and unpleasant, and the last thing you want to do is have it stuck to you for a minute longer.

So here's what I want you to do – SCRAPE IT OFF! Do it right now. In your heart, I want you to forgive that offense – that trespass. We pray every week, asking Our Father to forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. That implies that we're actually doing the forgiving. So, forgive it... scrape it off.

Our second scripture reading is the end of the story of Joseph, whose brothers first planned to kill him, and then because they lacked the guts to do that, they sold him as a slave to traders who sold him to an Egyptian. Joseph went from slavery to prison, and then to a place in Pharaoh’s court, and finally to being in charge of all Egypt – second only to Pharaoh himself. When famine drives his brothers to Egypt, Joseph has the ones who trespassed against him in the palm of his hand. He plays with them for a while, to see if they are still evil, but they are really more pathetic than evil, and just before he reveals himself to them to forgive them, we are told that he wept so loudly that the whole palace heard it. We are not told why he wept, but I imagine it was at least partly because what he was about to do was hard, and painful. By his society’s standards he had the right and the power to kill them, but instead he embraced them. It wasn't easy though, it was incredibly hard.

It's not easy to forgive, but God in his grace has given us the power to do it.

In Genesis 50, verse 20, Joseph says to his brothers: "As for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, to bring about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today."

One of the reasons we are able to forgive is because God takes even the things that were meant to hurt us, and he uses them for good if we let him. Paul tells us as much in Romans 8, verse 28, where he says, “We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.”

We are able to forgive because we bask in the light of God’s forgiveness.
Jesus lets us know that if we refuse to forgive, then we really haven’t grasped our great need for forgiveness, or how much God has already forgiven us, and thus, in our pride, we haven't truly repented, and God will not forgive us. But when we have our eyes on the cross, and the pain and suffering that Jesus went through in order to forgive us and cleanse us from our sin, it starts to look like a small thing to forgive those who harm us.

What we need to keep in mind is that forgiveness is an act of faith.

By forgiving others, we're trusting that God is a better justice-maker than we are. By forgiving, we release our own right to get even and leave all issues of fairness for God to work out. We leave in God’s hands the scales that must balance justice and mercy.
Just as our stewardship offering is an act of faith by which we are saying, "I might not be able to afford this, but God will look after my needs," Forgiveness is an act of faith, because we are saying, "if there is any punishment that is needed, or any giving of mercy, God will look after it just fine."

We have to forgive those who have hurt us; because God commands it, because our own forgiveness hinges on it, but also because it is the best thing for us. When we refuse to forgive, the bitterness grows like a cancer within us and it eats away at us, causing stress and illness and serious lack of joy. The only therapy for this cancer is the surgery of forgiveness.
When we refuse to forgive, we allow the sin that was committed against us to hurt us twice: once when we were first sinned against, and again by keeping us from receiving God’s forgiveness. We need to stop the pain and forgive.

Finally we need to forgive because of Jesus' second-most important commandment - “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” It's hard to love someone, if you can't forgive them.

It's interesting how some Bible translations word things. Two weeks ago, Jeff spoke to us about the attributes of love. In our pew Bible, First Corinthians 13, verse 5 says, “it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;” But that's not how I learned it, in the NIV translation, it goes like this: “It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” It's that last part that I want you to consider - it keeps no record of wrongs – If we're supposed to love one another, and love keeps no record of wrongs, then we can't hold grudges. We have to forgive.

So, is there someone who you need to forgive? Is there someone who you haven’t talked to in a long time because of what they did? Is there some one who you refuse to trust because of what they did? Is there someone who you avoid like the plague, you won’t sit beside, someone upon whom you just feel like spitting? Is there someone whom you are waiting for a confession from before you offer forgiveness?

Go home and call them. Forgive them. You can let them know that forgiving isn't forgetting, but that you don't hold that pain against them any more.

Alternately, is there someone that you know feels that way about you because of something you did? Can you help them start the healing process by confessing and repenting?

Call them. Start it off by apologizing, and mean it.

We must forgive. Our own forgiveness relies on it.